Countdown to my rainbow

Today I am 36 weeks and 1 day! After all the scares I’ve had I’m so happy to have made it this far. I am still hospitalized, and we have set a date: July 1st!

I am a bit anxious but have tried to push my fears aside by leaning on prayer. That doesn’t mean that I haven’t had a few breakdowns because I have. Anneliese’s 3rd birthday should have been this Sunday, which is Father’s Day. Add pregnancy hormones on top of this and of course it’s that much harder. I also fear about this baby boy, but I pray he will get to celebrate many birthdays. Besides, worrying won’t change a thing.

Since I’m hospitalized I have been unable to prepare for baby. Nothing is ready for him. I guess he won’t care. I hope I have enough newborn clothes. I guess I better buy some diapers.

It’s scary thinking of how I will have a newborn again. I really haven’t held a baby for almost 3 years. This is what I wanted, but I’m nervous, but excited too.

14 days left!


About prayingformyrainbow

I am a mom of 3 girls, one lost to SIDS October 2012. A survivor of thyroid cancer, and a full time working mom trying to remain faithful that I will see my daughter again. My rainbow after SIDS arrived June 19, 2015!
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